jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

What Would Warrant a Cancellation??

Let’s say I have a tendency to be a News Junkie. I start each morning with coffee and various online news outlets. I start with local stuff and progress onward to each of the major news networks. And I love when it’s been a slow day and stuff that, otherwise might not be so easily found, makes it to the forefront. And when that happens, I like to stop and ponder just what was going through the writer’s mind as they wrote the item.

Case in point:

One recent morning as I cruising through all things newsworthy, I came across this headline: “Dead Woman” Moves Arm; Embalming Postponed.” Now THAT is something I’m going to read. It just REEKS of interesting.

As it turns out, a lady in Columbia had been declared dead after suffering a heart attack. She was moved from the hospital to the morgue and procedures were begun to prepare her for burial.

At some point in the preparations, her arm moved. Now had it been me, that would have been the whole enchilada. If I was in the process of getting them ready and they moved, they would have to get me ready.

But what I found most interesting about the headline was it said the embalming was “postponed.” Not canceled. Postponed is synonymous with delayed. I would like to go on the record right now as saying, when my time comes, if I move my arm, my leg, my foot, my head… if I move ANY thing, cancel my embalming. Don’t postpone it. Don’t delay it. CANCEL it. I don’t want to be done in by ANOTHER mistake. Heck… someone had already sent this poor lady to the morgue. That was mistake number one. I would hate for mistake number two to have commenced.

So getting back to the headline… moving her arm only warranted a postponement. I guess next time she will have to get up and dance to have it canceled.