~ In grade school we’d decorate shoeboxes so classmates could stuff valentines in them. That’s when I first learned I wasn’t for everyone.
~ While you guys are telling lame Valentine’s Day jokes, I’m stockpiling my Abraham Lincoln material. Consider President’s Day OWNED.
~ I’ve convinced OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) today is only the 13th… all Valentine Gifts will be 90% off at Wal*Mart tomorrow!
~ I plan to be all romantic when OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) gets home from work tonight… I’ll leave a trail of rose petals to a sink full of dirty dishes.
~ I once got a Valentine card that was actually restraining order with glitter on it. WELL played.
~ Don’t talk to me about Valentines Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
~ Roses are red, violets are blue. If your man is busy on Valentines Day, then the side chick is you.
~ If you’re sad/single/both on Valentines Day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald’s for $8.99.
~ I’m planning a really special night for OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) for Valentines. I plan to tie her up and watch ANYTHING OTHER THAN LIFETIME ON TV…
~ Is Valentine’s Day a Bad Day for you? Just remember there are folks who have their ex’s name tattooed on their body.
~ Today reminds me that there are many states of matter… and my favorite is doesn’t.
WOW!! Looks like OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) hit a HOME-RUN this year…