jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind … 8-8-2016

~ I normally do more damage doing damage control.

~ I’m not stubborn and I’m never changing my mind about that no matter how right you are.

~ I’ve never been great at multi-tasking … or quite frankly regular tasking.

~ My Doc always loses me at, “Can’t be taken with alcohol.”

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~ I wouldn’t say I’ve “totally let myself go”… but I have “seriously loosened my grip.”

~ I just won $12 in the Powerball. Don’t worry I won’t let it change me.

~ I don’t even drink. I’m just … like this.

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~ I’m never doing anything that requires me to wear a backpack full of water.

~ Ever find it weird how a quarter pounder can give you seven pounds of diarrhea?

~ I will never ever be old enough to know better …

~ Have you noticed on the news … it’s always the village idiot who’s social commentary gets projected.

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~ Do you have to do something bad to be in the witness-protection program or do they take walk-ins?

~ I have completely eliminated mindless eating from my life. Consuming that giant bag of Doritos today was a conscious decision.

~ If by “foodie,” you mean “appreciates the culinary wizardry that is a Cheesy Gordita Supreme”… then yes, I’m a “foodie.”

~ I like to sit in a Wal*Mart bathroom stall and ask, “How long has it been since your last confession?” to everyone who comes in.

~ I hate it when I get tricked into reading a poem and there’s no punch line.

~ My posts make many people sorry they’re literate.

~ I actually caught OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) dialing 1-800-GOT-JUNK about the garage …

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~ Do homeless people really need all that soup?

~ Drinking water all day long is terrible. I’ve almost peed my pants twice … and for sure one time.

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