jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind … 8-15-2016

~ All I’m saying is I may be old, and I may be a duddy, but I’m certainly not fuddy …

~ I unlocked a new fat badge today by buttering some bread at a stoplight …

~ I’ve learned a lot of females immediately put me in the acquaintance zone.

~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) watches WAY too much Forensic Files for me to be able to get a good night’s sleep.

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~ My latest diet strategy is to only eat at Domestic House of Pancakes.

~ I wish sites that have a bunch of ads saying they don’t have ads on their site, and need donations instead, would just have some ads.

~ I have no idea why OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) gets SO angry when I’m only trying to make her a little angry.

~ Should I be at all concerned that my therapist is speechless by the end of every appointment?

~ My Life Tip: If you don’t try … nobody can accuse you of giving up.

~ It’s not that I’m not fat … I’m just ergonomically symmetrical.

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~ I’m a licensed insultant. It says so on my résumé …

~ I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.

~ Thank goodness this is whatever the heck day it is.

~ Did you know the ‘ueue’ in ‘queue’ is silent? Now you do.

~ I wish I had the upper body strength to raise hell.

~ It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong …

~ Sometimes I like to pump $20.01 worth of gas so I’m irritated all day long.

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~ I say “I know” a lot for someone who really doesn’t have a clue what’s happening most of the time.

~ There needs to be a passenger side horn so OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) can honk at me while I’m driving.

~ So yesterday at the mall, I was the most gangster of all the old guys sitting around the food court waiting for their wives to finish shopping.

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