jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind… 6-6-2016

~ Passing chargers at a party is the new joint.

~ I sexted myself last night. I tried to say no … but I knew I wanted it.

~ I saw a UPS truck leave our street, so I refreshed the tracking webpage instead of checking the porch… IF you’re wondering just how lazy I am.

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~ I’m only stripping until I can afford a new set of color printer cartridges.

~ Diet update: I still jiggle.

~ “Age is only a number,” I say as I lean back on my heating pad.

~ I don’t need to be wealthy, or even rich … just pumping gas without paying attention would be fine.

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~ Speak now or forever hold your peace, is my favorite reminder of how my friends failed me.

~ I think I would do more things if they came to me on a conveyor belt…

~ When someone posts a serious status, I stare at it for at least five minutes thinking I`m missing something hilarious.

~ I watched two guys arguing in sign language yesterday. Either that, or they were both REALLY bad at martial arts.

~ Is it still considered a noogie if you use your heel?

~ One size fits all should NOT be a category for leggings.

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~ It’s only fun if it’s slowly killing you.

~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) can shower and get ready to go to dinner in 20 minutes. It takes me 20 minutes to get ready to shower.

~ What is it about ‘personal accountability’ that people don’t understand?

~ You have never seen OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) overreact… until I TELL her she’s overreacting.

~ I’m not going to go as far as to say my life is “underwhelmed”, but I feel it could certainly be more whelmed.

~ To this day my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor thinks macadamia nuts is an STD.

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