~ Passing chargers at a party is the new joint.
~ I sexted myself last night. I tried to say no … but I knew I wanted it.
~ I saw a UPS truck leave our street, so I refreshed the tracking webpage instead of checking the porch… IF you’re wondering just how lazy I am.
~ I’m only stripping until I can afford a new set of color printer cartridges.
~ Diet update: I still jiggle.
~ “Age is only a number,” I say as I lean back on my heating pad.
~ I don’t need to be wealthy, or even rich … just pumping gas without paying attention would be fine.
~ Speak now or forever hold your peace, is my favorite reminder of how my friends failed me.
~ I think I would do more things if they came to me on a conveyor belt…
~ When someone posts a serious status, I stare at it for at least five minutes thinking I`m missing something hilarious.
~ I watched two guys arguing in sign language yesterday. Either that, or they were both REALLY bad at martial arts.
~ Is it still considered a noogie if you use your heel?
~ One size fits all should NOT be a category for leggings.
~ It’s only fun if it’s slowly killing you.
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) can shower and get ready to go to dinner in 20 minutes. It takes me 20 minutes to get ready to shower.
~ What is it about ‘personal accountability’ that people don’t understand?
~ You have never seen OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) overreact… until I TELL her she’s overreacting.
~ I’m not going to go as far as to say my life is “underwhelmed”, but I feel it could certainly be more whelmed.
~ To this day my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor thinks macadamia nuts is an STD.