~ I had Rice Krispie Treats for breakfast and lunch and a brownie for dinner. That’s three square meals in my book.
~ I realize I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I drink coffee. So whatever.
~ I guess I should have asked this before I got my tattoo, but men can have tramp stamps, too. Right?
~ I hate Internet mob justice. Except whenever I agree with their cause.
~ Every exercise I have ever done has been in futility.
~ If you take the time to get to know me, I think you’ll find I’m much more distasteful than I seem to be at first glance.
~ If you are one of those people that believe things “can’t get any worse” … you’re an idiot.
~ Of course OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) can take a joke … she took my hand in marriage, didn’t she?
~ I know many of my posts are inappropriate. That’s why they’re on this web site.
~ Too many things on my body jiggle for me to only be this age.
~ Very few people like me at first … even fewer after getting to know me.
~ I use 85% of my self-control to stop myself from saying what I really think. The other 15% is used to maintain my neutral facial expression.
~ The off button for my brain was never installed.
~ My appreciation of irony never ceases to amaze me.
My favorite love triangle: Lemon, Salt and Tequila.
~ I wonder if laziness counts as a disability?
~ I could easily start incorporating the word “nitwit” into my everyday vocabulary.
~ The best part of planning all the stuff I’m going to do when I have time off work is not doing any of it.
~ I have a borderline personality. I almost have one.
~ The most important thing I did today was not calling anyone on their cell phone.