~ I think I’ve decided I’m more of a no-getter.
~ My sock keeps sliding down inside my shoe, so I really don’t want to hear about your petty problems.
~ In my family circles, I’m known by the nickname “Issues.”
~ Tomorrow. Tomorrow is definitely the day that I stop procrastinating.
~ It’s never too early to know I need a nap.
~ There IS a reason why ‘sober’ and ‘so bore’ sound exactly the same.
~ Everyone you meet has a story to tell … unfortunately.
~ Damned if I do … bored if I don’t.
~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor can count on his 7 remaining fingers the accidents he’s had with a power saw.
~ There is no simple household repair that I can’t turn into a visit to the ER.
~ I’m proof you really can’t judge a person based on a single restraining order.
~ I’m quite surprised I’ve made it this far in life without setting myself on fire.
~ I had planned to take over the world today, but I overslept.
~ If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I WILL let you cut line in front of me at The Wal*Marts.
~ I’ll bet I could sarcasm the positivity right out of you.
~ I watched a mobility scooter crash into a Smart Car at The Wal*Marts today. It all happened so … slow.
~ If they make it a point to tell me it’s not a big deal … then I KNOW its a big deal.
~ I try to keep myself busy with many things. However, a job is not one of them.
~ Every once in a while I like to stretch like I’m going to go for a run … just to scare the heck out of the rest of my body.
~ There is no greater pressure than being handed a difficult to open jar by the woman you love.