jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind … 4-14-2018

~ I think I’ve decided I’m more of a no-getter.

~ My sock keeps sliding down inside my shoe, so I really don’t want to hear about your petty problems.

~ In my family circles, I’m known by the nickname “Issues.”

~ Tomorrow. Tomorrow is definitely the day that I stop procrastinating.

~ It’s never too early to know I need a nap.

~ There IS a reason why ‘sober’ and ‘so bore’ sound exactly the same.

~ Everyone you meet has a story to tell … unfortunately.

~ Damned if I do … bored if I don’t.

~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor can count on his 7 remaining fingers the accidents he’s had with a power saw.

~ There is no simple household repair that I can’t turn into a visit to the ER.

~ I’m proof you really can’t judge a person based on a single restraining order.

~ I’m quite surprised I’ve made it this far in life without setting myself on fire.

~ I had planned to take over the world today, but I overslept.

~ If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I WILL let you cut line in front of me at The Wal*Marts.

~ I’ll bet I could sarcasm the positivity right out of you.

~ I watched a mobility scooter crash into a Smart Car at The Wal*Marts today. It all happened so … slow.

~ If they make it a point to tell me it’s not a big deal … then I KNOW its a big deal.

~ I try to keep myself busy with many things. However, a job is not one of them.

~ Every once in a while I like to stretch like I’m going to go for a run … just to scare the heck out of the rest of my body.

~ There is no greater pressure than being handed a difficult to open jar by the woman you love.