~ Tony the Tiger is more enthusiastic about cereal than I am about life.
~ At the Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood Association meeting last night, they could not, specifically, find where there was a rule prohibiting a moat around our single-wide. Advantage Mr. Gilmore.
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is so sure she’s never wrong that she’s even removed the backspace button from her keyboard.
~ I wish I could reverse my weight and IQ…
~ In Kentucky, not attending a family reunion is considered “birth control.”
~ I’ll never forget my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s last words to me. He said, “Are you sure you fastened the bungee cord correctly?”
~ So apparently OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) likes to play jokes on me by putting things away where they actually go.
~ My gang sign is that cramped hand look you get from carrying in a lot of groceries. No one messes with The Grocery Claws!
~ Please explain to me how people even enjoyed life before elastic waistbands?
~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s pharmacist makes house calls, drives a Chevy Impala and isn’t really a pharmacist.
~ The last package on earth that should be difficult to open is Midol.
~ My latest extreme sport is going out on a limb for people who will never catch me.
~ If I was a superhero I’d be Supercomfortable Man. My powers would be sitting on the couch, eating snacks, and minding my own damn business.
~ Why does Wal*Mart even sell exercise equipment?
~ Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as, “The most violent book I have ever read.”
~ The easiest way to start a argument with OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is to say something. Or nothing.
~ I just witnessed my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor spray Febreeze down his trousers. I guess the weekend is near…
~ There’s a fine line between planning and plotting. And I never discuss it because then it’s a conspiracy.