jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind… 1-11-2016

~ Do people who say, “Exercise helps me relax” know about not exercising?

~ At my old job I had an additional duty working as a translator. I specialized in English to Idiot.

~ Everyone hates their job until someone brings cupcakes in.

Cupcake5

~ Its 8:30am and I’m already studying the lunch menu like I’m cramming for a final.

~ I wonder how thin I’d be if I had to pedal to keep the computer powered up.

pedal-powered-office

~ I’ve been eating artisan bread for a month and I still can’t draw any better. This is false advertising!

~ Damnit!! My can of whoop ass is past its expiration date.

~ So I’m thinking I may have to move… I’m sick of this commute to my refrigerator.

~ People that ask questions on social media sites… have you ever heard of Google?

~ That one terrifying moment when you think to yourself, “I sure hope this flushes…”

~ So OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) gave me a “Do Not Resuscitate” t-shirt for my birthday. Just in case.

Do_Not_Resuscitate_T_SHIRT_white

~ If by meditate you mean brood, then yes, I meditate.

~ You know that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce them… and apologize for after? That’s me.

~ My bank balance is a constant reminder that I’m safe from identity theft…

Thief

Thief

~ Somewhere between I should know better and glad I did it… that’s where I live.

~ If don’t have the energy to walk a mile in my shoes, just go ahead and judge me.

~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is always correct-even when she’s wrong because I should’ve never brought it to her attention in the first place.

~ I went to the gym today. HA! Just kidding… I went out in the back yard and yelled at birds.

bird4

~ Don’t you dare think for one second that you are smarter than me. Think it ALL the time… because I’m an idiot.

~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor nursed a hangover for 3 days and ended up getting RN Degree from ITT Tech in the mail.

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