jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

The Job Interview … 11-25-2018

** CAUTION ** If you’re one of the easily offended snowflakes, it might be best to just skip over this one …

You’ve been warned.

So it seems a buddy of mine that I was in Iraq with found a job on that he felt he was qualified for, so he applied on-line.

Well a few days later he received a notice that he was indeed qualified and was invited in for an interview.

The day arrived and he went down to the guvernment building at the appointed time and was soon ushered in to an office.

The interview was pretty basic … name, address, previous jobs … that kind of stuff. So the interviewer was looking over his application and had just a few additional questions.

Are you allergic to anything?

My buddy replied yes, that he was allergic to caffeine and couldn’t drink coffee.

The interviewer made a note.

Next he was asked if he had any prior military service.

And my buddy replied that yes, he had served for a few years and had served one tour in Iraq.

The interviewer made a note and spoke up and told him that was great. His military service would give him a 5-point edge over other applicants.

The next question was did he have any injuries that was disabling in any way.

My buddy, being honest, squirmed a little and then told him that, yes, while he was in Iraq, a bomb had gone off next to me and blown off both of his testicles.

The interviewer grimaced, but he made a note and told my buddy that he had scored high enough to be hired immediately. He explained that the job was Monday-Friday, 8:00-4:00, an he could start the next day at 10:00 … and to plan on starting everyday after that at 10:00 as well.

My buddy was kind of confused at that and asked a question to clarify. He said if the hours are 8:00-4:00, why should I come in at 10:00 every day?

The interviewer told him, well buddy, this is a guvernment job. For the first two hours every morning we stand around, drink coffee, and scratch our balls. So there’s no point in you coming in for that.

PLEASE DON’T SEND ME COMPLAINTS!! I warned you in the first line …