jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

PLEASE Just Get It Together

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not the brightest light bulb out there. My elevator don’t always go to the top. A bird in the hand may poop on ya… or whatever.

That being said… I think because of my lack on intelligence, “things” seek me out just to happen to me. It has come to the point that I’ve started believing that maybe I have wronged someone and karmel is paying me back. EVERY day…

Now don’t get me wrong… I live a life blessed beyond measure. I am so thankful for the family and friends that OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is blessed to have (see… I KNOW that I’m just baggage), blessed to do something I absolutely love and have dreamed of doing since childhood, good health (physically at least) … I mean… I “GET” all that. It’s the little things. They seek me out JUST to annoy me.

As you know, I drive. A LOT. So as an example… I get to a construction zone and traffic stops. Now MY lane sits for 30 minutes as I watch the OTHER lane move. So I change lanes. You know the rest…

Or… another example. As I’m driving… I get blessed to be behind a certain make of car. Normally it’s a Buick. And the driver, when taught to drive back in the horse and buggy days, was taught to drive with one foot on the brake. At ALL times. (And as an added bonus, they signal a turn 3-4 HOURS ahead of time).

But, as I’ve aged, I’ve learned to live with these dilemmas and to face them like a Zen Master. I remain calm. Take deep… cleansing breaths… and mentally think of ways to torture them.

But my LEAST favorite “THING” that seeks me out on a regular basis… and one for which I STILL haven’t learned to cope with… is:

I have never… NEVER… been in line behind someone who knew what they wanted at the drive-thru.

PLEASE… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD… pull to the side and get it together. I mean… FOLKS… McDonald’s hasn’t changed their menu in 40 years. It’s still two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun today just like it was when that song played back in 1975. And if you have a special order… PLEASE… just go inside. Leave the drive-thru for us professionals.

I know… I know… deep… DEEP… cleansing breaths.

And that’s MY take…