jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

Makes Sense to Me

I love many things. But two of my favorites are idiots and obviousness. How could we survive without them? I love to read the news and see a story where someone has done something so dumb even I go… “Well that’s what you get.” Cause I can be an idiot myself. And I love seeing something, a sign, label, etc… that is SO obvious that I go… “Well DUHHHHH!”

Case in point:

I spent a few years in uniform. Active, reserve, civil service, … all told a little over 28 years. And I was in the Air Force. And I HATE to fly. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? I know… I never understood it either.

But during all of my 28 years, one of the things I always enjoyed was the warning sign on the C-5 troop doors. Now the C-5 is one of the largest aircraft in the world. The front and rear can be opened so that you can actually drive though it. And it’s cavernous… HUGE inside. You could park 6 Greyhound buses inside. Yeah… it’s a big plane. And back near the rear cargo ramp, on each side, is a troop door. And on each of these troop doors is a big yellow warning label with big black letters that says: CAUTION!! AIR AND GROUND USE ONLY!!

Hmmm… I wonder where else I would have a need to use those troop doors? On the ground? Sure… loading folks into the plane so you can get them ready for departure. In the air? Yep… cargo troops sometimes have to jump out of perfectly good aircraft while they are still flying. Me? I’m not a combat troop. I’m gonna take my chances at riding it down and HOPE the landing is soft. Who knows? I might get lucky and have Chesley “Sully” Sullenburger at the controls so I could survive.

But trust me. There are no other places to use those doors besides the air and the ground. A C-5 doesn’t make it on the water. But I always got a laugh out of those warning labels on the troop doors.

But it doesn’t stop there. There are “idiot labels” all around us. If you get a cup of coffee at McDonalds, there is a warning label telling you it’s hot. Buy a new blow drier at Wally*Mart and there is a warning label telling you not to use it in the tub. Come on. If you blow dry your hair while you’re in the tub, you deserve what you get.

These folks that need all the warning labels are the same ones that make the news when a bear bites their fingers off at the zoo. You know the ones… they ignore the warning labels and climb over the barriers so they can feed the bears. Yeah… they get what they deserve.

And that’s MY take.