jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

Let’s Get Counted

So I’m employed again. I know… I know… this puts a REAL damper on my Bum status, but I’ll work it out. Some times we just gotta do what we gotta do. And this is one of those times. I just had to bite the bullet.

So the Census called. They said I had attended a class last year. I did? OK… I’ll take their word for it. So could I come in, get trained, and help with the count? It’s for our COUNTRY!! How could I say no? I mean… it IS for our Country.

So I went to class on Tuesday. And found out I had to train for three more days. TRAIN? To COUNT?? How many people are in these houses that you have to train me to count?

SO I’m getting trained. I’m going to be an official Enumerator. I have trouble pronouncing that… so I just say I’m a counter. And I have to learn all these acronyms. PII… ES… CDT… STD… oh wait… not that last one.

So it seems I have to go out to folks houses and count them. Now these are the same folks that received Census forms in the mail and didn’t send them in. So what makes the Census think these folks are going to tell me? And remember, this IS Hickville, TN. I fully expect to get blowed away with a shotgun or have some dog sicced on me. Just watch the news… “Census worker screams like girl while being chased by dog. Film at 11:00.”

So they are going to give me a map, some forms, a card with who I am in FIFTY-FIVE different languages (I kid you not about that), and turn me loose. I don’t get a gun. I don’t get a badge. I don’t get to pass “GO” and collect $200. Nothing. Nada. Zip. All I get is a plastic card that hangs around my neck that has the Census logo and my name on it. And I had to write my own name.

We’re spending $47 baZillion dollars on this census thing and I had to write my own stupid name on my badge. Just exactly where is this money going? Show me the money!! Where’s the beef?

Oh don’t worry… this is just the beginning. I have about five or six weeks of this work to do. I’m quite SURE you will be hearing more.

And that’s MY take.