jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

I’ve Been Missing Out

I wonder how long THIS has been going on? I could have been SO much more comfortable. Had I only known. I guess I need to pay closer attention. And I will in the future.

Times are tuff. But I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. Record unemployment. Foreclosures. Homeless folks. These may not be the best of times. Yep… times are tuff.

So what do I do when times are tuff? Get a second job? C’mon… get real. This is ME talking. Get Nancy a second job? Uhhh… no. Times aren’t THAT tuff. Yet. Cut back on luxuries? Ain’t got none to cut. Nope. When times get tuff, I fall back to tried and true remedy. I search the furniture cushions.

Now really. Why do you think we entertain? Do you really think I like having people invade my privacy? No. But it’s a necessary evil. I invite lots of folks over so when they sit on the furniture, their change falls out. How do you think we have put Melinda through college? With my good looks? Well of COURSE. But her spending money came from the furniture.

So when I came up short this week, I thought I’d give the furniture a good once over. And I’m glad I did. The things I found. Suffice to say dinner tonight is covered. I started with the chair. A Skittle, a Dorito, a Ramen Noodle package (noodleless), and a nickel.

Wow. Off to a good start. Money at the first stop. On to the recliner.

Down one side. Two Skittles (someone must enjoy tasting the rainbow), another Dorito, a pizza crust, three potato chips, and a paperclip. Hmmm… no cash. But I still have the couch.

The couch should be the treasure trove. It’s where most folks sit and waller around. Which makes for excellent pickings after they leave.

I was sure I’d find some treasure in the couch. And I out DID myself. 6 M&Ms, a chicken bone (?), some potato chips, Cheerios, and… a BED? Who the heck left a bed in my couch? There’s a whole BED in here. How long has this been hiding under the cushions? You mean I’ve been taking naps on the couch when just a cushion away was a whole bed?

This will make TV time so much more comfortable. Forget having to get up in the morning and drag myself to the couch. Now I can just unfold this bed and STAY on the couch. What a time-saver this will be. I can now sleep in comfort, watch TV, eat…

I guess since Ill be sleeping in the living room, we can turn the bedroom into a new entertainment area. Who knows… maybe I’ll find a couch in the bed.