jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

Is It Worth All That?

Ding Dong! Yes… good day. I’m Tom from the US Census Bureau and I’d like to… SLAM!!

Knock Knock! Yes… good day. I’m Tom from the US Census Bureau and… SLAM!!

Knock Knock! Yes… hello. I’m Tom from the US Census… SLAM!!

Ding Dong! Knock Knock! Ding Dong! Hello… my name is Tom and I’m with the US… SLAM!!

BAM!! BAM!! BAM!! Look… I can SEE you peeking out of the dang curtains.

Knock Knock! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!! Growl… BARK… BARK… ARRGGHH… Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Yes… hi. Is this your nice little Rottweiler? Yes… he’s very playful. And do you have some bandages? Are his shots up to date?

What is up with folks these days? The Census has been in the news for a few months. And over the last few weeks, there have been stories on the national news and in print that the Census workers are coming by homes to get required information. You would think we were asking for money. Or were a religious group ringing your door bell.

I don’t know what scares people. All I do is ring the bell. When they open the door, I tell them up front “I’m from the government and I’m here to get information about you.” How could that POSSIBLY be scary?? And if they tell me they don’t want to answer and what am I going to do… I tell them “Nothing. I’m not going to do anything. But the men in black suits who show up in the middle of the night and take you away… THEY might do something.”

In the first week alone, six Census workers died in car accidents. Now I can understand that. After sitting in the training class for four days, I can see where driving might be a problem for some of those folks. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised that walking and breathing at the same time would be tough for some of them. There are a few that might have to walk a few steps… stop and breathe… walk a few steps… stop and breathe…

But SOME folks go over the top. I read in the paper where one Census worker in Florida was attacked with a pick ax. A PICK AX folks! And not to be out done, but a California resident attacked a Census worker with a crossbow. Ya know… right off the top of my head… I don’t even know anyone that OWNS a crossbow.

But leave it to Texas to top the cake. An attorney… AN ATTORNEY FOR GOSH SAKES… has been arrested for attacking a Census worker with a gun. A GUN!! How paranoid do you have to be over a few personal questions (name, age, date of birth, race, etc…) that you attack at Census worker at all? Let alone with a GUN!!

Funny part is… it appears the Census worker is ok after being shot AT five times. FIVE times. The attorney shot five times and missed five times. With an aim like that, sounds like that attorney should be a census worker.

And that’s MY take.