jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

In Case You Missed It… 7-3-2013

* The purpose of Terrorism is to scare and make people feel unsafe… which is something it has in common with Network News.

* I always read OWN’s (‘Ol Weird Nancy’s) Horoscope to see what kind of day I’M going to have.

* A picture is worth a thousand words. Except mine. Mine is just worth one word. Crap. My picture is crap.

* Some people come into your life for a reason… like for target practice.

* I hate when the cat beat me at Hearts…

* I just tried to sniff some Coke… got an ice cube up my nose.

* During this run of heat from which we are suffering… please remember to dress for the body you have and not the body you want.

* So I found a forklift with the keys in it, and long story short, I now own a Redbox DVD kiosk.

* Some things are better left unsaid. But that never stops me…

* “You’re going to like how smart you look, I guarantee it!” – Mensa Warehouse.

* So blessed to be living in a time of inexpensive catheters.

* I have certain phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

* Letting go of negative people is not a reflection on how you feel about them, it is a reflection on how much you love you.

* If you aren’t a Libra, you have no idea how tough it is to correctly hang something on a wall…

* Don’t forget… it’s only a problem if others know about it.

* I’m at Wal*Mart… and I’m pretty sure I just saw the loser in today’s Eyebrow Drawing Contest.

* Not sure what’s for lunch, but according to the smoke detector, its blackened something…

* No wonder I can’t win… I’m not playing with a full deck.