* I just realized I’ve been wearing my shirt backwards all day… which may explain why people have been talking behind my back all day.
* The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Psalm 111:10
* If you treat everyone as though they were hurting, you will be treating the majority in the correct manner. Zig Ziglar
* That awkward moment when you’re running… and your boobs are bouncing… and… you’re… a guy.
* So I thought since I was on the wrong side of the border that you drove on the wrong side of the road. Funny thing is… they don’t. I thought I had nearly scared a poor lady half to death, but she assured me her hair had when white for several years…
* So once again I have traveled to the Great White North… the Land of Eh (?)… home of the Mable. No… not Mable. That was my Grandma’s neighbor. Something… close. OH… MAPLE. Home of Maple Syrup. Wait… no. That ain’t it. Home of something Maple-y… Whatever.
* If you will get over what you think is a disadvantage, God will take what looks like a liability and turn it into an asset. Joel Osteen
* Some old guy scared the crap out of me this morning. I still haven’t figured out how he got in my mirror either…
* How to fold a fitted sheet: fold sheet with elastic on the inside, grab corners, pour gasoline over sheet, light on fire, buy new sheets…
* My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets in.