* Always pray to have eyes that see the best, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith.
* French people give me the crepes.
* It stuns me… STUNS ME… at how many folks do not catch my sarcasm.
* Some people just suck the nice right out of me…
* Enjoy the little things in life… for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault
* It NEVER fails… about 30 miles into my 300 mile drive every night, I always regret that 9th glass of tea I drank at @crackerbarrel…
* Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.
* If God is all you have… you have all you need.
* Someone outside Wal*Mart asked me if I had a minute to save the environment. I was stunned that it wouldn’t take more time…
* Oh… the wasted hours… never to be recovered… learning to write cursive.
* Accept what is… let go of what was… and have faith in what will be.
* Its only murder if they find a body… otherwise its just a missing person. Just a thought.
* I just calculated my BMI and found out I’m WAY too short…
* Common sense is not a gift, It’s a punishment, Because you have to deal with everyone that doesn’t have it.
* I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
* My politically liberal neighbor has Scoliosis and leans to the right. The irony is lost on no one.
* Old people sure have a way of making eating look sad.
* I have perfected the art of shower-stall sex. Now, getting someone to join me is my next step…
*I think “grim” is pretty much assumed, Mr. Reaper.