jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

In Case You Missed it… 5-30-2013

* Today has been brought to you by; “What just happened?” “Are you serious?!” and “You have got to be joking.” Oh… and the letter J.

* Weekend plans: 1. Breed a giraffe with an alpaca. 2. Create and army of “Giracas.” 3. World Domination. 4. Laundry.

* I think I need an intern.

* Here in Hickville Holler (Pop 2), Whole Foods is just a tree with a couple of squirrels in it.

* Kleptomaniac Superman is the Man of Steal.

*If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong…

* I’m typing this status message slow because I know some of you can’t read too fast.

* Did you know Jesus drove a Honda back in Bible days? Yep. “For I speak not of my own accord…” John 12:49a

* So I had a wet dream about my old boss last night… I was drowning her in a lake.

* I’ve sent 5,377 Tweets… and still haven’t said a thing.

* Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

* People who spread their germs make me sick.

* I saw a horse drawn carriage today and, surprisingly, horses are good artists.

* Never, ever, ever, ever, ever…EVER… test OWN’s (‘Ol Weird Nancy’s) memory.

* My old boss’ favorite line: “I never said it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

* Do NOT play dumb with me… that’s a game you can’t win.