jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

In Case You Missed It… 5-24-2013

* Whatever we think about and thank about, we bring about!
-Dr. John F. Demartini D.C. BSC #powerful

* Been scoping out eTrade for stock in Kleenex Tissue… this head cold is about to get the best of me.

* Glitter starts out as a great idea… until you realize its the herpes of crafting supplies and you can’t get rid of it.

* Looks like someone broke in and stole JUST our TV remote. Now he drives by and randomly changes the channels. If I EVER catch him…

* If any of my Florida friends or relatives has the sole winning PowerBall ticket worth $590M… please know I’ve always loved you.

* Nothing puts me more on edge than being stuck in a quiet waiting room with someone that has a booger that whistles with every breath…

* Word is that BUCKWHEAT of Little Rascals famed has turned to ISLAM! He is now known as KAREEM of WHEAT…

* Trying to understand what goes in my mind is like trying to smell the letter 9.

* I remember how happy my Mom was when I told her I was finally gonna try living on my own… until she found all her stuff in the yard.

*If I were a Greek philosopher, my name would be Mediocrites.

* Dial… dial… dial

Riiing… riiimg…

9-1-1… what is your emergency?

Me: Do you think I’m pretty?

* A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful things you will here. Unless its 3:00am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby…

* I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today… the lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.