jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry. And I REALLY mean that. No one is more sorry than I. I am really… REALLY… sorry. And with that being said, can we just press on to something else? Do you have to keep shoving it in my face? Every 12 minutes like clockwork. Well… I guess it is clockwork. But you get my drift.

Got a problem with feminine itch? I’m sorry. Feeling gassy and bloated? I hate it for ya. Sinus backed up? Diarrhea? Constipation? Erectile Dysfunction? (OK… now this one really DOES bring tears to my eyes). But Acid Reflux? An erection lasting more than four hours? Anal seepage? Hemorrhoids? Tampons? Condoms? Headache? Back ache? Toothache? Dry skin? Oily complexion? Eye lashes too thin? Eye brows too thick? Blood shot eyes? Dry eyes?

Over half of every commercial break for every TV show is devoted to some type medical ailment for which they have found a miracle cure. So not only are the drug companies coming up with new drugs… they MUST be creating the ailments so they can SELL the drugs.

WHERE DOES IT END?? I never knew how many ailments I had until I started watching more TV. And if I DON’T have it… they make me feel weird that I don’t. But I’m not worried. I’m sure they have a pill for that weird feeling.