jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind

Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes… 11-26-2014

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Thanksgiving Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!)

1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups dried fruit

Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.

Take a large bowl

Check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver

Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

Check the Vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the cat…

And after the popularity and success of my Vodka Thanksgiving Cake recipe, I recalled my favorite Thanksgiving Turkey recipe, so here it is. And it uses popcorn as a stuffing… imagine that.

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are just not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

8-15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing(Pepperidge Farm Is Good)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (Orville Redenbacher’s Low Fat)
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Brush turkey well with melted butter.

Salt, and pepper to taste.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn(uncooked).

Place in baking pan with neck end towards the back of oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey’s ass blows the oven door open and flies across the room, it’s done.

I know… I know… you had NO idea I was such a whiz in the kitchen.