jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


I have chores. Normally something every day. It builds character. Or so I’m told. And I guess that is true since I am frequently told what a character I am. My chores usually aren’t too hard. I know that surprises you. I don’t break down the car engine and rebuild it. That’s outside of my contract. I do take it to get the oil changed. I’m pretty good about that.

But most of my chores are here around the house. I have to keep the pool right. I have to keep the yard cut. The bushes trimmed. I cook. Sometimes. But the most common one I have to do is… the laundry.

I could actually save us a lot of money if it were up to me. I would just go naked. I have no problem with that. Don’t want to see me naked? Don’t come to my house. That’s how I get rid of folks that ring the door bell trying to sell me something. I answer the door naked. When I open the door naked, I have a PERFECT streak of inviting salesmen in to get more info on their product and having them leave. Not one has come in. I’m proud of that.

But… Nancy makes me put clothes on when anyone other than me is here. So that means I have to do the laundry. And we have this big fancy washer with 42 different wash cycles. Soft… delicates… normal… lights… darks… hot… gentle… I’ll tell ya right now… my drawers don’t care. Wash… dry… fold.

So I don’t need all those fancy cycles. I just put the clothes in until the washer is full, add some soap, and let them go. And I see these folks on TV separating everything. That takes too much time, too. I put everything in together. Just like I wear it. Of course, everything we have is gray.

Uh oh… gotta run. Some guy is at the door selling something. I need to get undressed and try to keep my streak going. Wish me luck!