The morning after I killed myself, I woke up. I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the […]
Category: From Blogger
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese […]
As most of you know, I’ve been a touch over-weight for several years. I’ve tried, half-heartedly, to loose a few pounds here and there, but with little effect. That is … until I recently saw an ad on-line for “guaranteed weight loss” results. I was intrigued … I called the company and ordered their intro […]
There is a lot of talk these days about bullying and failure to accept. I came across this powerful message recently and thought I’d share it here. There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his […]
They say a picture is worth a thousand words … but a perfectly timed picture is worth much more. And my PERSONAL favorite: 578,747
OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) gave me a “Do Not Resuscitate” T-shirt for my birthday. Just in case. ~ I’m the reason some Taco Bells have ATMs. ~ I’m uncomfortable with being called a “genius” and so far, no one has made me feel uncomfortable. ~ They say to dress for the job you want, but […]
~ You don’t win friends with salad. ~ When smacking your gut, how many flesh ripples does it take to qualify as obese? ~ Saw a hawk swoop down over the highway and fly off with a snake in his mouth and I can’t even switch lanes while eating a Twizzler. ~ Whatever the opposite […]
~ I typed my symptoms into WebMD an all I got back was, “Eww. Gross.” ~ I dumped my sock full of pennies on the gas station counter and told the attendant, “I’ll take a pickle in a bag and whatever is left on pump 7.” ~ My favorite quote to my former boss was, […]
~ I took some of my clothes in to the laundry today and I found $20.00 in my pocket. My first thought was, “WHO HAS BEEN WEARING MY PANTS?!?” ~ Thinking of funny posts is a whole lot easier when you’re dying on the inside. ~ I’ve reached the point that I have to check […]
I peruse many sites seeking material I deem “post worthy.” I look for items I think make bring a smile to your face. This gem came from Craigslist. I think it will meet my desired expectations… Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2014. Usage timeline as follows: 11:45a Register […]