~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has been penciling in her eyebrows ever since my great, “Don’t use too much lighter fluid” incident of 2001.
~ The majority of my posts will make you regret that you ever even learned to read.
~ My apologies to everyone who’s been hurt by my behavior. If I could do things over, I would do everything in my power to not get caught.
~ I normally don’t say sorry, but when I do I don’t mean it. And I’m sorry for that.
~ Most people are too emotionally stable for my taste.
~ So I found out today that pushing my boobs together will not help ME get out of a ticket …
~ A little known tidbit for you: Earth day is named after Paul Earth, who discovered the Earth in 1847.
~ Hold a door for a lady and you’re a gentleman. Hold a REVOLVING door for a lady and you’re a DICK … or according to this lady I have trapped at the moment.
~ When my time comes, I’ll probably go doing what I loved … eating unidentifiable leftovers just to get them out of the fridge.
~ At my age, I can’t bust a move any more. I can dent a move. Maybe scratch it up a little. And I could probably chip a move if I have to.
~ I’m not saying I struggled with mathematics in high school, but you couldn’t have added all my math test scores together and gotten an A.
~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s four-year-old likes testing me … but today I was surprised when it involved a #2 pencil, a scantron answer sheet, and questions on the Civil War.
~ Back in high school, I spent so much time in the principal’s office I kept a picture of my family on his desk.
~ I can either be part of the problem … or part of some other problem.
~ I have GOT to lose some weight. I tried getting up off the couch yesterday and ended up rocking myself to sleep.
~ It never fails … anytime OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) and I have an argument, she always remembers stuff I haven’t even done yet.
~ A girl smiled at me on the street today and said life was a miracle and she hoped I was having a great day. It almost made me feel bad telling her to STHU.