OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) gave me a “Do Not Resuscitate” T-shirt for my birthday. Just in case.
~ I’m the reason some Taco Bells have ATMs.
~ I’m uncomfortable with being called a “genius” and so far, no one has made me feel uncomfortable.
~ They say to dress for the job you want, but I tell ya, I’ve been dressing as the Pope for years and it’s gotten me nowhere.
~ If you’re insulting a kid, make sure you don’t say bad things about her mama when she’s standing right behind you and she’s OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy).
~ I nailed a picture of a lost tree to my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s cat and now they hate me.
~ I have a lot going on, most of which is purely in my head. But that doesn’t make it any less distracting.
~ When they tell you to smile and say cheese, don’t do it. There’s never any cheese. It’s all lies.
~ Our cat thinks that she owns the house and we just visit her at night.
~ I can’t wait till everyone changes their profile pics for hemorrhoid awareness week.
~ I can always tell how my day is going to go based on which belt loop I can reach.
~ The scariest trick OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) pulls is offering me a choice.
~ If you gaze deeply into my eyes… you’ll probably notice my “check engine” light is on.
~ Sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like if giraffes walked around speaking Chinese to each other. Other times I take medication.
~ I had a dream where my refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five minutes, then it closed the door and left.
~ I never say anything bad about my former boss, but I type a good bit of it.
~ According to Ancestry dot com, it looks like I’m the least successful family member in roughly 300 years.
~ I’m learning braille. So far all I know is Floor 7.