jester journals

Weird Ramblings from a Warped Mind


Weird Ramblings From A Warped Mind… 2-22-2016

~ I took some of my clothes in to the laundry today and I found $20.00 in my pocket. My first thought was, “WHO HAS BEEN WEARING MY PANTS?!?”

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~ Thinking of funny posts is a whole lot easier when you’re dying on the inside.

~ I’ve reached the point that I have to check my bank balance on my phone before ordering a side of guac…

~ Since we’ve been married awhile, OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has earned the right to maniacally laugh when someone tells her they’re getting married.

~ My family crest is just a single rotisserie chicken.

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~ Nothing says I’m ugly more than my bowl of grits receiving more likes than my selfie on Instagram.

~ My new favorite hobby is counting how many noises my body makes as I roll out of bed.

~ Just got a text my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor sent last week. I wonder if he still needs a fire extinguisher?

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~ This old guy in Wal*Mart was giving me the weirdest looks last night… and the worst piggyback ride of my life.

~ When I asked OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) to tease me, “Alright, Fatty” was NOT what I had in mind.

~ I don’t know what my problem is, but I’m pretty sure I have one.

~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) spends more time wondering what I’m thinking than I spend thinking.

~ Getting lucky when you’re married is being the one spouse to fall asleep before the other one starts snoring…

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~ Ever apologize for no reason? No? It must be nice being single.

~ Hey guys, OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is starring in a one-woman show called “Nothing Gets Done Around This Damn House Unless I Do It.” Critics are raving…

~ I’m so lazy I don’t even exercise my options.

~ Most people describe my dancing style as “Oh my god, does he need medication?”

~ After 34 years of marriage, OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don’t look happy.

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