~ You know you’re at a classy restaurant when the guy at the next table is blowing his nose on a CLOTH napkin.
~ Just a heads up for new members … I found out yesterday the offering plate doesn’t work like the “take a penny, leave a penny” at the gas station.
~ We live in the age of the completely uninformed “expert” opinion.
~ I play hard to get rid of.
~ My Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else … one arm at a time.
~ I want to do something with my life, but nothing that costs more than $20.
~ Our local Jehovah’s Witnesses have a new trick where they dress up like the police and say they have a warrant … but it isn’t going to get me to come to the door. Nice try, though.
~ WHO THE HECK TOOK MY … oh wait … there it is.
~ You’d probably have an easier time taking a cub from a mother bear than trying to take some of the blankets in bed from a sleeping OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy).
~ Waking up would be much easier if I didn’t have to do it so many days in a row.
~ It’s not paranoia if the rhythm really is going to get you.
~ I don’t like who I become when I have to get out of my jammies.
~ I can communicate by interpretive dance as long as I’m allowed to use my middle fingers.
~ The first rule of Jayne Exclusion Club is never invite that bitch Jayne.
~ If you see me running and there’s no ice cream truck in front of me … you should probably run too.
~ I lean more towards Fridge than Tomb in the Raider department.
~ I’m thinking of starting a Christian rock band called Nuns ‘n’ Moses.
~ I find the problem with diets is that in order to be successful, they never end.
~ I just HATE when my necktie gets caught in the hotdog roller at 7-Eleven.