~ I like when people say, “You wouldn’t understand anyway” like they think I was even listening in the first place.
~ It’s only a short distance before I realize I have no idea where I’m going.
~If you take all the snacks in my house and add them up, you’ll know what I had for dinner last night.
~ So I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor … and now I don’t know WHAT to believe anymore.
~ I don’t like to brag but I seem to be going through a pretty significant ‘what the hell is wrong with me’ phase.
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has mastered multitasking … she can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
~ I keep my GPS set to a female voice so I get the FULL effect of being told what to do.
~ Last night I asked OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) for breakfast in bed this morning. When I woke up, there was a corn dog on my nightstand.
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is finally starting to accept me for who she wants me to be.
~ Our FedEx guy keeps delivering diapers and formula that my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor didn’t order. And he cries when he holds their new baby. Weird, huh?
~ I hate when I gain 30 pounds for a role only to realize I’m not an actor.
~ I remember several years ago, about half-way thought the movie, OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) was taking some popcorn in for the kids staying over for a slumber party and realized she had rented the wrong Black Stallion DVD.
~ If I ever manage to get my act together, that’ll be one HELL of a performance.
~ I’m constantly amazed at how different my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbor’s twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive and confident than her sister Hog Face.
~ I nearly throat-punched a lady in The Wal*Marts today because her eyebrows were looking at me funny.
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is forever stealing my t-shirts and sweaters … but if I take just ONE of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk.”