This was TOO good not to share … story credit to Jesse Newton. So, last week, something pretty tragic happened in our household. It’s taken me until now to wrap my head around it and find the words to describe the horror. It started off simple enough – something that’s probably happened to most of […]
It was in early December when the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the […]
Via YouTube and The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention … AFSP.org 591,506
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how […]
~ I’m glad I chose a woman with wits … wits will never sag. ~ One day I hope to be smart enough to not panic for gas when my car drives east. ~ I’ve found if I tuck my pants legs into my socks, people expect less of me. ~ I’m only smart enough […]
~ My self-esteem was running on fumes yesterday … so I headed to The Wal*Marts. ~ My favorite part about dieting is when I get upset because I didn’t lose all the weight I gained for 20 years in 2 weeks. ~ My entire life looks like a drug deal gone bad. ~ Our kitchen […]
~ My gang sign is just me wiping lint off my shirt. ~ According to an independent study, done by me, I had projected that I would be rich by now. ~ Yoga pants should come with an application, an interview, and a letter of approval. ~ If you matter to someone … you’ll know. […]
~ I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve never finished lower than second place in every fight I’ve ever been in. ~ “Because you’re worth it,” I whisper to myself as I pour my third glass of Jack. ~ A really good beauty tip you don’t hear very often is, “Don’t be a bitch.” ~ […]
The morning after I killed myself, I woke up. I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the […]
~ I like when people say, “You wouldn’t understand anyway” like they think I was even listening in the first place. ~ It’s only a short distance before I realize I have no idea where I’m going. ~If you take all the snacks in my house and add them up, you’ll know what I had […]