~ I talk a lot of crap for someone who can’t put his drawers on without falling over. ~ I prefer the “let’s wait and see what happens” approach to dealing with my problems. ~ Let me know when you’d like me to make things uncomfortable … that’s my specialty. ~ I think my life […]
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) and I have slightly different interests … she enjoys reading the Washington Post and I walked around all day yesterday wearing only one shoe. ~ All year we’ve been saving money to go on a Caribbean cruise. So far we have enough to buy a couple beach towels. ~ The […]
~ The reason I’ve been married so long is I’m good at being wrong. ~ Using the correct words is overraided. ~ Winning an argument with OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) is like getting first prize in a “Who Wants to Sleep on the Couch” contest. ~ My goal in life was to just be successful […]
~ I’ve started to dabble in real estate … I visit open houses and eat the free cheese. ~ All of my enthusiasm could be scooped up by a single Frito. ~ Never go to bed angry … or throw your cat like a football. ~ I don’t believe those “movies” anymore. I just took […]
As most of you know, I’ve been a touch over-weight for several years. I’ve tried, half-heartedly, to loose a few pounds here and there, but with little effect. That is … until I recently saw an ad on-line for “guaranteed weight loss” results. I was intrigued … I called the company and ordered their intro […]
~ I stock Dollar Store toilet paper in the guest bathroom so they won’t stay long. ~ The Wal*Marts is a physical manifestation of the “Comments Section.” ~ My favorite “Serving Size” ~ The Amount I Can Eat Without Vomiting … ~ If I smile back at you, guaranteed something smart is about to come […]
~ I define my style as “Carny.” ~ I found a hole in the backside of my favorite yoga pants, but I didn’t want to change, so I colored that part of my butt with a Sharpie. ~ I squint at the sun because it’s bright. I squint at idiots because they’re not. ~ Oh […]
Dear Friends: Since we no longer send out cards, I thought this might be the perfect outlet for our annual Christmas letter. I know ALL of you have been on pins and needles awaiting its arrival, and I did not want to disappoint. First off, Tom blaaaaa bla bla blllaaaa gloat Tom gloat bs bs […]
~ I overheard OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) telling someone we have a great relationship … as long as you don’t count the 35 years we’ve been married. ~ You folks have no idea what I’m culpable of … ~ I’d probably be more of a go getter if I knew what I was going to […]
~ If your nickname is Lucky, it tells me all I need to know. ~ I don’t get it … and I’m pretty much okay with that. ~ My skinny jeans just snicker at me from their hangar every time I open the closet. ~ Never judge someone on their appearance … unless they have […]