Take a Knee … by Stanislaus Drew Take a little trip to Valley Forge in January. Hold a musket ball in your fingers and imagine it piercing your flesh and breaking a bone or two. There won’t be a doctor or trainer to assist you until after the battle, so just wait your turn. Take […]
So the neighbor next door had been complaining that our dog, Mr Beauregard, had been barking. A lot. And he does have a tendency to do so. A lot. But it’s normally only when he sees something to bark AT. Which is normally … a lot. Now I hate the electric zapping bark collars, so […]
~ It’s okay, Web MD … I don’t really know what’s wrong with me either. ~ So my Hickville Holler (Pop 2) TrailerHood neighbors, being good Catholics, practice the “Rhythm Method” of contraception. Of course, being that they’re white, they already have 9 kids. ~ Please don’t call me a loser … I prefer the […]
Just some outrageously funny names that we are blessed to not suffer with … AND saved the best for last … good ‘ol Judy. 593,307
~ I think I’ve decided I’m more of a no-getter. ~ My sock keeps sliding down inside my shoe, so I really don’t want to hear about your petty problems. ~ In my family circles, I’m known by the nickname “Issues.” ~ Tomorrow. Tomorrow is definitely the day that I stop procrastinating. ~ It’s never […]
Do you consider yourself blessed? Think hard about that. There is a song that says, “Count your blessings … name them one by one.” But how often do you stop and really count all the things that you are blessed with? We are told in several books of the Bible that we must tithe. Leviticus […]
~ Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden. ~ ThOm’s Interstate rule: If someone passes you on the right, he’s a jerk. If three people pass you on the right, you’re a jerk. ~ If you start clipping your toenails at Olive Garden, they will ask you to leave. So much […]
~ Congratulations on your early retirement … I had ketchup for dinner. ~ I keep incredibly busy for someone that doesn’t do anything. ~ I don’t rely solely on my hideous appearance to drive people away … my abysmal social skills are just as effective. ~ Whoever said ‘carbs are not your friend’ … does […]
She was hardly born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Far from it. Like the rest of us, her extended family, she was from the wrong side of the tracks and life was tough. But unlike many in her shoes, she never let that stop her. From her humble and ramshackle beginning, life was […]
~ I don’t understand people who have to “get ready” for bed … I’m always ready for bed. ~ Well, this is embarrassing … it turns out this whole time I’ve been eating baby spinach. Where do you even buy spinach for grown-ups? ~ As a kid I didn’t know what to do in those […]