GREAT SEA STORY The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia. The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought Captain John Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo’s position was LAT 0º 31′ N and LONG 179 30′ […]
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In the spirit of self-improvement, here are a few things I plan to work on next year. **Please Note – OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) says this list is NO WHERE near inclusive… My list of resolutions for 2015: – I will think of new passwords besides “Password” and “Hello.” – I will not tell the […]
Recalling a late-night internet surfing expedition from several years back, I remember coming across this product on Amazon. Having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian, I decided to take the plunge and buy some after reading all the GLOWING reviews. I felt this had to be easier than my previous shaving attempts, […]
~ I’m not fat … I’m just under-tall for my weight. ~ I once quit a job as a psychic due to unforeseen circumstances. ~ I find it sad that we live in a world where we’ll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough. ~ If you don’t wash your […]
The doctor said, “The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition that causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove […]
A water bearer had two large pots. One hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to […]
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has a really short commute to work each morning. I’m not sure exactly how many miles it is; I just know she barely has time to finish her beer. ~ It’s been over 40 years and we still have to push the microwave oven buttons so hard … is ANYONE […]
~ OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has been penciling in her eyebrows ever since my great, “Don’t use too much lighter fluid” incident of 2001. ~ The majority of my posts will make you regret that you ever even learned to read. ~ My apologies to everyone who’s been hurt by my behavior. If I could […]
~ You can imagine my disappointment when an email with the subject line “inflatable amusements” turned out to be about kid’s toys.
~ We no longer worry about stock market volatility because we have all of our money tied up in being spent the second we get it. ~ A grown man at The Wal*Marts used the term ‘fiddlesticks’ today and his penis just dropped out of his pants leg, right there on the floor. ~ I […]